075. Overcoming Survivor’s Guilt

At 18 years old and 295 pounds, I was trapped in the downward spiral of food addiction. When I heard about Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA), I thought, “No way will I ever set foot in one of those meetings." I was diagnosed with cerebral palsy as an infant and I lost a sibling at a young age. Experiencing grief and survivor’s guilt, I thought, “How could there be a Higher Power when so many terrible things happen?”  Even when I did open the FA door and heard people telling stories that matched my own, I did not think the program was for me. My plan was to just lose weight and leave FA as soon as possible. What happened instead was that my life completely changed. Yes, I lost weight, but more importantly, in FA, I learned how to be me and how to live authentically. Getting out of my active food addiction allowed me to be present for the cancer treatment and eventual passing of my mother, meet my incredible wife, become a father, and pursue a true passion in life. At 31, I feel so grateful that I no longer have to eat addictively. I no longer have to live in fear. I can show up for my life today, one day at a time.